Monday, January 31, 2011


You ever see a man beaten near to death by a news desk? I have. Ever seen a dainty blond lady annihilate a local anchor woman? I have. Have you ever seen 2 delightful gay men destroy a news copter with the power of their raw sexual dynamism alone? No. You haven't. You don't know what this war will bring. It could mean the end of everything! The end of all media in Pittsburgh. Mutual destruction.

With tears in his eyes, Overlord Madden edged his Primantis sammitch closer and closer to the edge. with a final sob he pushed it over the edge of his glass chamber, hanging high above the battle field. The sandwich tumbled, spilling slaw and fries into the cold air. Finally, the bread and meat and egg landed on the concrete with a quiet splut. there was a brief moment of silence and then, the sudden and earsplitting sounds of war erupted and consumed the northside.

The first day was mild compared to this. A feeling out period. Seeing what the other side was now capable of. General Roth And General Sorg gave orders from their underground bunker/command center deep within the bowels of The Art Institute. Relaying tactical information to their agents in the field, General Woycheck and General Sorgatron.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. The war was never supposed to get to this level. General Woy allowed himself a brief moment of reflection on the months leading up to this fateful night. On the secret missions of seduction and assassination by the ladies of Bitch Burgh. Months worth of glamorous parties, wining and dining heads of networks, news papers and radio stations. How those ladies suffered. How they drank. How they partied. How they sacrificed.

We did everything possible to stop it from getting to this point. But now, it was too late. It was time to end this battle before it really began. It was time. Time to unleash the big guns. Operation MAKE ROOM FOR CRAZY was unleashed. In the midst of all the chaos, 2 steel pods dropped from the sky. Out stepped 2 powerful entities, ready to end this war before it began.

Ginny. Burgh Baby. Operation MAKE ROOM FOR CRAZY was in full effect and for just a moment, it seemed that we would end this war before it began. But that was just false hope. Because, the other side rolled out 2 cages. One with a snarling beast and another with a quiet but overwhelming power within. It was as Woycheck had feared. Screaming and tugging at his chains was a renewed and freshly mustachioed Alby Oxenreiter and in the other was the dangerous, the deadly, the immortal and invincible, dressed in full trench coat and emerging from a salt pile was Dee Thompson. This was far from over, Woy thought, This war had just begun.

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