Round 5: Dawn Papuga vs Peggy Finnegan
Peggy Finnegan: Heavyweight anchor of the WPXI Army. As opposed to delivering she instead chews on the news and then regurgitates it on televisions all over Pittsburgh, expecting us to lap up her foul news-bile like sad baby birds.
Dawn Papuga: Wielder of both a large vocabulary and the legendary Six-Fingered Sword, Death Valley Dawn is a formidable opponent. None to be trifled with, Dawn will stop at nothing to achieve victory even once ripping the earth from the sky to gain the advantage in a Magic the Gathering match against Pittsburghs own John Carman.
Advantage: After much bloodshed and torn out hair, Pittsburghs South Side works were leveled. Resembling a war zone, smoke and fire rose from every corner. Resting high atop the ruined movie theater was a single thin blonde woman. With dirt and blood under her nails she lights a bent cigarette, takes a long draw off it then spits on the fallen form of another woman.
The sun will rise on a very interesting post at DawnPapuga.com titled WTF Wednesday: The Art of Destroying Peggy Finnegan.