Friday, January 3, 2014

Additional Untrue Facts About Pittsburgh

  • Pittsburgh started as a Thought Experiment by the famed Erwin Schrödinger. Schrödinger, a noted time traveler, was heard to remark at a 1756 symposium on Theoretical Physics in Urban Planning "What about a triangular city, but its all bridges. Also, Perogies. I'm just spit-balling here, but you said no judgement."
    Schrödinger was, of course, burned at the stake, but Pittsburgh was Born.

  • Weather patterns in the Pittsburgh area are unpredictable due to the triangular nature of the city. As a result, Pittsburgh weatherpersons (or WeatherCriers) have the lowest accuracy rating of any in the nation, ranging from 2.78 percent accuracy to as low as 0.37. Only famed Pittsburgher and dark wizard Joseph William DeNardo was able to tap into the geometric energies of The Steel City and report with any accuracy the nature of the weather that day. He is also famed for writing a monograph on the 140 different kinds of what he referred to as "particulate."

  • East Liberty is a myth.

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